party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
