we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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