tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
