It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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