Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
