Me too!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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