I'm jealous of your bromance
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
