Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize