the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
