I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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