Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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