okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
