so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We are two peas in an std pod
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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