when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
