Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
