the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
