Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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