as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
