Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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