I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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