what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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