I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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