I must be too annoying 4 u.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
