please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
