so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
