you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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