know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
