i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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