At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
