The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The beer is more important than you right now.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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