no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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