dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
