therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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