hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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