what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
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at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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