i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
