the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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