I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
