I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want to fling myself into the sun
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
