I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
