I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
