I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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