Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
