It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
