put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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