Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
