I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
