I just threw up on my dentist
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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