I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
