census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My cat gives me a boner
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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