Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
