WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
