I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
