yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think my mom watched the whole time
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
