The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
