So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
