Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
