she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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