Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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