I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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