woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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