i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
